Signs That He's Just Not That Into You

You think you've finally met your soul-mate, but slowly a nagging feeling develops indicating that something about the relationship is just not right. The longer you know him, the more the feeling grows. There's nothing glaring, no blatant words or omissions with which you can confront him; it's more a series of subtle indications that you are not as important to him as he is to you.

Here are some things you may notice:

* You leave a message on his answering machine and he'll return it, maybe not immediately, but at his leisure, perhaps the next day.

* He's already met your family, but you haven't met his. It seems they're very busy people.

* He doesn't want to give up his nights out with the boys, and he encourages you to have nights out with your friends too.

* When you have an important family gathering, such as a funeral or a wedding, he will find a reason not to attend.

* Your dates are often arranged at the last minute, when he suddenly finds his calendar for the evening is clear.

* He may drop in late in the evening when it's too late to go anywhere, and hint that he'd like a drink or a snack.

* He takes you to a lot of fast food joints, even though you know he could afford better.

* Christmas and birthday gifts are impersonal and inexpensive, such as a book or an umbrella, nothing that could be considered remotely romantic.

* He chooses most of the places you go together, even though he's very cagey about it. "I was given these tickets to the hockey game, would you like to go with me?"

* You are often asked to do favors for him which will make his life a little easier: drop his books at the library, pick up a birthday card for his mom, cancel a dentist appointment. If you ask for a favor in return sometime, he won't have time to do it.

* He will often use you as a sounding board, moaning and groaning about everything wrong in his life. When you try to tell him about your concerns he's not interested, or will ask you to stop being so negative.

* When you hear he's been seen out with another girl and ask him about it, he'll reply that it was his cousin from out of town. Even after the third or fourth time, he may stick to the "cousin" story.

If you haven't already done so, this is the time to call a halt to the charade. Insist on taking both he and his cousin out to dinner in order to make her visit more enjoyable.

This will precipitate a crisis in your relationship. Either he'll tell you the truth and be out of your life forever, or he really will have a cousin and you'll be stuck with the price of two dinners.

However, don't rush to withdraw money for the meal from the bank. If you've noticed some of the other signs along with this latest development, it's probably time for both of you to move on.

The good news is that you're very good company. He valued your friendship and tried to maintain it as long as he could.

The bad news is that he just wasn't that into you. He liked you, he enjoyed your company, you came in handy to help him out when he needed it, but he kept his romantic options open. There were no commitments sought or given.

Where do you go from here? Obviously. this man was not your soul-mate. That means that individual is still out there somewhere. Get up, get out, and keep looking. At least you now know some of the negative characteristics that the wrong candidate will display.