Signs a Relationship Is Over
Posted: Friday, August 21, 2009
by Carolyn Tytler
You may have had a vague, uneasy feeling for awhile that things were just not the same. It doesn't matter whether you were married, in a relationship, or had just been dating, the signs of an impending break-up are the same: very subtle at first and gradually becoming more blatant, until you both finally face the inevitable and agree to go your separate ways.
* You're spending less time in each other's company. He may be spending more time at work. She may be visiting family or friends more. Whatever the reasons, (or excuses?) your time together has noticeably decreased.
* Communication has lessened. There are fewer phone calls, or text messages when you're apart, and longer silences when you're together. You're addressed by your given name more often, rather than "Honey", "Sweetie", or other, previously-used terms of endearment.
* You are no longer interested in the same things. When you introduce a topic for discussion, or begin to relate an incident from your day, your partner brushes it off, as a matter of no importance. Clearly, you no longer share similar issues and priorities.
* He begins to be critical of things that never seemed to bother him before: your cooking, your friends, your hobbies, even the colour of your fingernails. He frequently finds reasons to slam out of the house in a temper.
* She makes remarks which indirectly put her partner in an unfavourable light, compared to others: Debby's husband is so handy around the house; Susie's boyfriend earns such a tremendous salary; her dad is so cultured and never uses bad language.
* He begins mentioning names and locations he's never spoken about before. You suspect that he's seeing new people and going to different places when he's not with you.
* One partner or the other will deliberately provoke an argument. Hostility, hard feelings and instances of emotional withdrawal and sometimes physical withdrawal as well, become more frequent and will last for longer periods.
* The one who is most anxious to be free will stop holding up his or her end of the partnership agreement. She may no longer do his washing, telling him to look after it himself. He will no longer keep up routine repairs on the house or apartment. "Who cares if the bathroom tap is dripping?"
* You stop getting calls and visits from his family members and close friends. He has probably already informed them of his intention of leaving the relationship.
* The final stage usually occurs when one partner or the other leaves and stays away for an extended period of time. Both parties must realize then, that the end of the relationship is imminent. There may be final meetings to retrieve personal items, split assets, or attend legal proceedings if divorce is necessary, or if child custody rights are in dispute.
When a break-up occurs, it's difficult for both partners. Even if romantic love has died, it's an experience of failure and an indication of poor judgement in one's original choice of a partner. It's important not to become depressed and give up on love and life in general.
All of life is a learning experience. Reflect on what knowledge you've acquired through this relationship. Perhaps you can't live with a smoker, perhaps you prefer someone who is a good cook, perhaps it's important that you find someone who shares your sense of humour.
"You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the handsome prince (or princess ).
Author Unknown
Because of this experience, you're a giant step closer to finding the royal personage meant just for you. You won't find him/her if you sit home and mope. Get up, get out and get busy!
This Article has been viewed 3,558 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Great articles, many of these very same things happened in my relationship.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.