What To Do If Your Child Is Never Called Upon in Class
Posted: Sunday, August 09, 2009
by Carolyn Tytler
Usually, this is a good sign. However, it your child has noticed, and is bothered enough about it to mention the matter at home, it may be time to bring it to the teacher's attention.
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone. Here a few things to consider that may explain the teacher's apparent reluctance to call upon a particular student:
* Is your child well-behaved, seldom distracted and usually on task? Often the teacher will ask a question of a student whose attention appears to be wandering, to remind him to focus on the lesson at hand.
* Is you child extremely nervous and does he become visibly upset when singled out in a group? If the teacher has noticed this, she may avoid calling on him to spare him stress and anxiety, especially if he's a good student.
* Is he sitting near the back of the room behind a child who is heavier and taller? Sometimes out of sight is out of mind, especially if the smaller child is quiet, well-behaved and doing well in all subjects.
* Is he sitting at the front of the class, right under the teacher's nose (so to speak)? If so, she is probably able to see if he's paying attention and know how he's doing just by looking down. She may not feel a need to question him further.
* Sometimes it happens that the teacher has had prior unpleasant meetings or even conflicts with a parent about this child or about a sibling in previous years. While it's unlikely that a teacher would bear any ill-will toward the child, she may be unwilling to incur parental wrath again. She will probably take extra care to insure that the child is progressing well, but she won't wish to rock the boat by asking a question he may not be able to answer, or risk giving the impression that she is "picking on him".
Upon reflection, the perceptive parent may be able to ascertain the problem. If it is a mere oversight on the part of the teacher, call the school for an appointment and bring it to her attention. She will probably thank you for making her aware of the situation, and the fact that the child is troubled by her seeming neglect.
If the root of the problem is animosity between the parent and teacher, try to resolve it, for the child's sake. He may be able to move to another class if the school is large, or even to another school, but this would involve getting used to a new teacher and new classmates. It's rather like using a blowtorch to kill a mosquito.
Often a short note, accompanied by a peace offering of home-made cookies will work wonders. "Johnny is feeling neglected because you don't ask him enough questions. Please lay them on him. Sincerely, _______."
Parent and teacher both want the best for the child entrusted to their care. Things work out best when they can work in co-operation and harmony towards this common goal.
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