How to Boost Your Self-esteem

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, how much you value, respect, appreciate and love the person you are. It is about taking pride in your abilities and recognizing your accomplishments.

It's important to maintain a healthy self-esteem in order to be comfortable within your own skin, and to interact in a positive way with other people. Those with high self-esteem will never allow themselves to be victims. They can reach out confidently to help others, to assume leadership positions, to work for worthwhile causes, and to contribute to the general welfare of the their community and their country.

In contrast, those with low esteem will feel that no one likes them or accepts them. They're sure it's useless to try to do anything because they'd make a mess of it. They're likely to be the victims or the underdogs in whatever sphere they occupy, because they're convinced they don't deserve, or are not capable of any better.

Having healthy self-esteem is necessary to lead a happy, fulfilling life but most of us, at some point in time, will need to give our self-esteem a serious boost. It may have been damaged by a failed marriage, a job loss, desertion by a close friend or relative, or by a major mistake in planning or judgement which we made ourselves.

Whatever the cause, here are some suggestions to help effect a comprehensive repair job so that you can move ahead to be the accomplished, successful person you are capable of being.

* Forgive and forget. Baggage from the past can slow your progress toward a brighter future. If you need therapy to help neutralize traumatic events, people who hurt you, or major disappointments, get it. Life's too short to waste time dwelling on former unhappiness.

* Resolve to focus on the positive factors in your life. Associate only with positive, supportive friends. Make a long list of your positive qualities; everyone has soon. Are you a good listener, a great cook, a talented animal trainer? Do you have a green thumb?

When you catch a negative thought surfacing in your mind, immediately replace it with a positive one. "I'm too fat," should immediately become, " I'll eat a healthier diet so I'll be ready for the good times ahead." Talk in an affirmative manner to yourself, as well as to others.

* Do something for someone else. Look at your list of talents. How could you use one to benefit someone you know? You can even do it secretly, it will give you a fine feeling.

* Stop comparing yourself and your situation to others. There will always be someone better or worse off than you. You are unique. Focus on how you are better off this week (or this year) than you were last. Even if you're only starting to improve, that's a beginning.

* Get out in the fresh air and be active, even if it's just taking a walk. Exercise increases endorphins, proven mood-boosters.

* Get involved in a hobby you enjoy, knitting, painting, whatever you like doing. When you complete a project, you get a great sense of satisfaction.

* Make a " to do" list. Start small, one or two easy tasks daily and increase in number and difficulty as long as you can comfortably handle it. As you check off items accomplished, your self-esteem receives a healthy boost.

* Practice being assertive. Say no when you feel like it. Stand up for yourself. If people fail to treat you with respect, walk away.

* Be nice to yourself. You're worth it! Buy yourself treats. Get a new hairdo. Plan a new wardrobe. If you can't afford to buy it all at once, buy a piece at a time.

* How is your work situation? If you're unhappy with your job, start scouting around for something else, or sign up for an advanced course so you can apply for the next promotion that comes up.

* Take action. It's been said: " God helps those who help themselves." When you try something, even if it doesn't work out as planned, you'll gain the confidence to try again. If you fail to try, because of fear or anxiety, you'll be miserable and your self-esteem will suffer.

If you try these simple tips, your self-esteem will grow and you'll become the person you're capable of being. Others will respect, appreciate and value you and all your relationships will improve. Most importantly, you'll appreciate your own uniqueness, your strengths and accomplishments and your contributions to your family, your community and your country.

The next time you look in a mirror, you're smile contentedly, gratified and proud of the person you see looking back at you, and that's what's really important.